Objectification is in the eye of the objectifier. Its not my problem or concern. I can only be objectified, or feel as such, if I give anyone the power to do so...Those of you who feel objectified, how do you know if someone is admiring your beauty or objectifying you?
If I feel objectified, it's because I'm being treated as less than human.
It's one thing to think someone is beautiful, and appreciate their beauty. That's fine. But be respectful about it. Thinking I'm cute doesn't give you the right to touch me sexually without my permission, for instance. It doesn't give you the right to explicitly ask for sexual favors instead of money as a form of payment. It doesn't make it ok for you to try to look up my skirt or otherwise violate my privacy just to satisfy your own sexual fantasies. That's the kind of behavior (and yes, I've had all of those things happen) that makes me feel objectified. When you do things like that, you're not treating me as a real person, you're treating me like a photo in a porno mag, only there for your personal enjoyment, no matter what my feelings on the matter might be.
I never feel objectified if a man calls me beautiful, or comments on something concrete (ex. You have beautiful eyes. You have a great body) I never feel objectified when men check me out or when I get hit on when I'm out. The man I love gets a little angry though ;)
I only feel objectified if the man is a replica of Quagmire (is that spelled right) from Family Guy. And believe me, there are men out there that are exactly like him. The men that hoot and holler when I'm out for a run trying to stay fit - I almost always feel really self conscious and maybe a little angry when I hear them. Men who have no respect for women are easy to spot. They'll come up to a woman and say the most vulgar things and just expect us to enjoy it. THOSE men are the only ones I feel objectified by, and I really haven't encountered that many of them.
Although I am attractive in public I tend to dress down jeans and a t-shirt and I have a very unfriendly look on my face (kind of a sneer) so what are they admiring? When I do dress nice for some reason I see no reason for strange men to admire me I am not art after all. I do not get my self confidence by how many men whistle, howl, or make other useless comments. They just irritate me. You want to stare longer then three seconds its called leering; please don't. I don't stare at strange men, I don't admire or objectify them, I don't really care about them. I am happily married and really only think my husband should ever refer to me as sweetie, baby, sugar, or any other food, or animal name they come up with. I don't get why women find that behavior a compliment I can only pressume that they have low self esteem and only can find their value in what others think of them.
I don't know, obviously I cannot read that man's mind.
If they want to leer, then whatever. It doesn't bother me, nor does it flatter me.
My only desire is that they keep their opinions about my physical attributes to themselves i.e.- no touching or inappropriate comments.
Now if they are someone that i'm close to, like a good male friend or a date of some sort then yes it's flattering to have a man make the occasional, TASTEFUL comment about my looks.
But a stranger or mere casual acquaintance catcalling me from across the street? Annoying.
I am constantly objectified by women. At first I wondered, whether they are admiring me or just have some dirty thoughts. In fact I had to change my cool photo avatar to a lame yahoo avatar after I found out what feminists were secretly doing to it!
They are probably doing both.This is what guys do. We are very visual. But why do you care ? You still hold all the cards. Don't react and just walk away. Slowly if you really want to twist the knife, in their immature little hearts.
Most people make snap judgments of people. We label them and then put them in conceptual folders. Men do it to women, women do it to men, and they both do it to each other.
I'm not an object. A man (or woman) appreciating my beauty does not make me an object.
I lack clairvoyance, and as you may expect, Lioness for this I'm deeply apologetic. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment